ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
