So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't make out with my wife yet
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
