:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
