And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
