i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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