garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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