i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
