But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
