ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
smell my finger.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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