Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm both gender and math confused
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize