so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?