Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.