Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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