So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
