dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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