y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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