it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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