I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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