Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
