i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The adults are the big ones right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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