im having a threesome with these popsicles
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
