I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
