yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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