i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
be right there i have to get my cape
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize