One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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