problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
