So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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