yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
