that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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