Only a mothe r could love this liver
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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