I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
