Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
