When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
