I heard we made out
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
