ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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