so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
