I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
