i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I would ride that face into the sunset
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
