I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
