Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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