I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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