I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
