Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
