help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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