I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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