I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize