maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
