Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize