just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
