Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
