Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
