How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
