I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My bed smells like the plague
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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