then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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