just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
