It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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