Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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