Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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