I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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