In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
