When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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