do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize